when life hands you raw hamburger, call it pate'
well that's what milerd filmore said, or was that dr. spock? no it was grover from sesame street. well whoever said it never ate pate' ...highly overrated.
this just in: ann from ann arbor: "sam, if this is one of those stories where you get off on tangents, then i'm gonna have to get a cup of coffee" me: ann, make mine sweet, unlike you.
well whoever said it, also said:
"turn problems into profits" and the equally famous saying,
"when life hands you lemons, make Long Island Iced Teas"
obviously, Piper and Bella heard these axioms, because they set out to turn things around.
a two day blizzard had cast a pale over my already dwindling supply of sunshine. the power was out, fallen trees in roadways were causing complete and utter chaos, people were without power, and i was forced to sit down and write. my somber mood could not have been more disinclined to put paper to pen. i had heard of the passing of TracyLynnP via twitter, and well with no laptop, i was forced to write long paw.
who does mother nature think she is, anyway? UKProgressive had written to me to cheer me up: "ferrets are forever childlike" and i took those words to heart.
ann again: "sam, i'm on my second cup, get on with the story"
ann, when i don't want to make changes in my life, do not wish to face the truth, i should do what other mature species do: unfollow and block you.
humans can get depressed, moody, cranky, bi polar, we ferrets rarely do. well, i guess some ferrets can get bi polar, my uncle freddie drinks pretty steady - he tries to make sense out of life by delivering snuggles while simultaneously contemplating the odds that he can steal your socks.
i received a text from my publicist, Bella. "Sam, Piper and I are taking you skiing"
only half way through a manic frenzied outfit selection process did the thought dawn on me: she hadn't asked me, she basically told me. like i had no choice in this.
i went with the navy cashmere scarf which sets off my white fur nicely. headset and goggles loosely hanging round my neck cast that nonchalant "imma rugged yet casual mountaineering type ferret" look.
some things are certain: death, taxes, and i dress appropriately
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
twitter made tracy laugh
the universe had me switch to night blog posts completely contrary to my patterns, schedule or habits, and i couldn't figure that out
until now
less than an hour or so ago, Tracy, my inspiration for being funny passed away after suffering from brain cancer.
late one night, as she struggled a few months back, she told me this would be her last Christmas, and she planned to make the most of it. i knew that when i commented on her holiday blog post. i tried to be funny, and i genuinely think she enjoyed my story. she had been hottubbing, and i told her a story about my uncle freddie and how i stole his french maid, or maybe it was the one about the adventure i'd gotten myself into?
ours was a complex and yet simple relationship, what we had was truly, truly a miracle.
each night, i would fire off my comments, and she told me that even if she didn't say anything, or mention it, she'd look for my tweets because they always made her laugh.
"Don't you dare stop Sam!" she tweeted one night when i was feeling discouraged, depressed, whatever i was feeling down about was nothing compared to what Tracy faced, and yet she was about to inspire me with words that have changed my life:
"Helping people laugh is a noble profession, Sam. Don't let anyone tell you different. Don't you ever stop making people laugh."
months later when i tried to explain that to a few folks, she told me not to get all soft on her. i could sense that she wanted me to keep up the humor, she needed it, she craved that giggle, the tease, the sarcasm, it was an outlet, a method of coping, her Spiritual Medication. she wouldn't let me mention the end, and i didn't - that was not the role she had selected for me, i was not her nurse, i was her sarcastic funny furry ferret
Tracy wouldn't let me be morose, she needed me to keep on going, and not quit, so strong was her Spirit, that even if i didn't know if she was awake or even online, i tweeted each time as if she were watching, reading, looking for that laughter in her day or evening. i've been staying up the last few nights late, and tweeting to her at all hours in case she woke up and needed a diversion
even her very last communication to me was poignant - the "noble" theme she was sent by God to instill in me - Tracy was being powerful, beyond what any human on earth can concieve from her simple words other than me, but they are so pure and good, that it is hard to express here:
i had kidded that i was Oprah's long lost sibling, and Tracy wrote:
you know oprah is queen of the world..right?
so that makes you...Prince??? lol
Tracy blogged, too, she told her story, she explained everything, she lured you in with pure honesty, and you were compelled to learn her story. but Tracy loved the pace and humor of twitter. that is why she connected, and stayed connected to me, because she wanted to go out laughing.
somewhere in heaven right now, she and her Lord are having a great big laugh over me digging my way to China, and falling asleep on the job, and making a fool of myself most days on Twitter, where it's ok to laugh, and we should remember to make each other laugh. that is why she enjoyed it so much,
twitter made Tracy laugh
Tracy, God Bless You in Heaven
until now
less than an hour or so ago, Tracy, my inspiration for being funny passed away after suffering from brain cancer.
late one night, as she struggled a few months back, she told me this would be her last Christmas, and she planned to make the most of it. i knew that when i commented on her holiday blog post. i tried to be funny, and i genuinely think she enjoyed my story. she had been hottubbing, and i told her a story about my uncle freddie and how i stole his french maid, or maybe it was the one about the adventure i'd gotten myself into?
ours was a complex and yet simple relationship, what we had was truly, truly a miracle.
each night, i would fire off my comments, and she told me that even if she didn't say anything, or mention it, she'd look for my tweets because they always made her laugh.
"Don't you dare stop Sam!" she tweeted one night when i was feeling discouraged, depressed, whatever i was feeling down about was nothing compared to what Tracy faced, and yet she was about to inspire me with words that have changed my life:
"Helping people laugh is a noble profession, Sam. Don't let anyone tell you different. Don't you ever stop making people laugh."
months later when i tried to explain that to a few folks, she told me not to get all soft on her. i could sense that she wanted me to keep up the humor, she needed it, she craved that giggle, the tease, the sarcasm, it was an outlet, a method of coping, her Spiritual Medication. she wouldn't let me mention the end, and i didn't - that was not the role she had selected for me, i was not her nurse, i was her sarcastic funny furry ferret
Tracy wouldn't let me be morose, she needed me to keep on going, and not quit, so strong was her Spirit, that even if i didn't know if she was awake or even online, i tweeted each time as if she were watching, reading, looking for that laughter in her day or evening. i've been staying up the last few nights late, and tweeting to her at all hours in case she woke up and needed a diversion
even her very last communication to me was poignant - the "noble" theme she was sent by God to instill in me - Tracy was being powerful, beyond what any human on earth can concieve from her simple words other than me, but they are so pure and good, that it is hard to express here:
i had kidded that i was Oprah's long lost sibling, and Tracy wrote:
you know oprah is queen of the world..right?
so that makes you...Prince??? lol
Tracy blogged, too, she told her story, she explained everything, she lured you in with pure honesty, and you were compelled to learn her story. but Tracy loved the pace and humor of twitter. that is why she connected, and stayed connected to me, because she wanted to go out laughing.
somewhere in heaven right now, she and her Lord are having a great big laugh over me digging my way to China, and falling asleep on the job, and making a fool of myself most days on Twitter, where it's ok to laugh, and we should remember to make each other laugh. that is why she enjoyed it so much,
twitter made Tracy laugh
Monday, January 24, 2011
squirrels are nuts
i've switched my blog posts the last couple of days to evenings, and the schedule sucks, a ferret likes to get out of a morn, and get the important stuff outa the way, steal a few vital items, hide em under the sofa, drive the household insane looking for the car keys, then give a cute innocent wiggle all the way back to the cage and nap it all off
so tonight, since i spent some quality time commenting on other's blogs, that qualifies in my mind as a blog post, nothing manic mind you, just a comment on a subject dear to my heart from http://nospankyou.blogspot.com by Fallen Angel ..her first post (she's outpacing me) was about "specie profiling". many fine comments by the way, feel free to leave one. I have taken my comment from her blog and considered that my daily post hereto, to wit:
finally, OMG that windbag, ProNet shut up!! has to get all philosophical, logical, and stuff, jeesh. like if these idiots who judge each other were logical, they'd invest some time in thinking of ways to help other werewolves, maybe get dracula a break or somethin. why just the other day.....
my uncle freddie spotted a cute squirrel out on the front lawn, but he didn't really understand she was a squirrel, he saw a wiggle, a furry tail, he was thinkin, now that's a mighty fine tail.. which of course it was, but it was a squirrel! squirrels are wild, and kinda nuts ... the women squirrels, always chattering, and they eat like slobs, dropping pieces of acorns all over the place. simply put, ferrets don't like squirrels, and we just don't really know any squirrels, so it makes sense we aren't going to like them, so why bother fraternizing with them?
well uncle freddie just cast a glance my way upon recognition, and started for the door, knowing full well at the moment that she was indeed a wild, nut eating squirrel..
i looked out the window, and observed him in action, his paw gestured to our burrow, and before i knew it, he was introducing me to our neighbor. a squirrel!! first one i'd met, and in my burrow!!
her name was gabby, she didn't stop carryin' on, and i was delighted at making a second pot o' tea.
uncle freddie sure is a charmer
_____________________________________________
just a little funny vid unrelated to this story
so tonight, since i spent some quality time commenting on other's blogs, that qualifies in my mind as a blog post, nothing manic mind you, just a comment on a subject dear to my heart from http://nospankyou.blogspot.com by Fallen Angel ..her first post (she's outpacing me) was about "specie profiling". many fine comments by the way, feel free to leave one. I have taken my comment from her blog and considered that my daily post hereto, to wit:
finally, OMG that windbag, ProNet shut up!! has to get all philosophical, logical, and stuff, jeesh. like if these idiots who judge each other were logical, they'd invest some time in thinking of ways to help other werewolves, maybe get dracula a break or somethin. why just the other day.....
my uncle freddie spotted a cute squirrel out on the front lawn, but he didn't really understand she was a squirrel, he saw a wiggle, a furry tail, he was thinkin, now that's a mighty fine tail.. which of course it was, but it was a squirrel! squirrels are wild, and kinda nuts ... the women squirrels, always chattering, and they eat like slobs, dropping pieces of acorns all over the place. simply put, ferrets don't like squirrels, and we just don't really know any squirrels, so it makes sense we aren't going to like them, so why bother fraternizing with them?
well uncle freddie just cast a glance my way upon recognition, and started for the door, knowing full well at the moment that she was indeed a wild, nut eating squirrel..
i looked out the window, and observed him in action, his paw gestured to our burrow, and before i knew it, he was introducing me to our neighbor. a squirrel!! first one i'd met, and in my burrow!!
her name was gabby, she didn't stop carryin' on, and i was delighted at making a second pot o' tea.
uncle freddie sure is a charmer
_____________________________________________
just a little funny vid unrelated to this story
Sunday, January 23, 2011
royal pie
i was sitting at my writing desk in my goggles and headgear, chewing a pencil.
the whirlwind that blew excited my paws
sitting down to watch the game, and fire up "my twitter" it started out encouragingly enough @falloutgrrl wished me a snuggle wiggle, i'm a sucker for those
immediately i was presented by my publicist @askbellawagner that the little brat, @samdaferret had bet against her and wagered his allowance on the Bears; the hectic encouragement to use my magic powers on Green Bay was not needed, as it looks like DaFerret has worn the wrong cap again
then i was informed that arnold wanted to buy the throne of california by @dirtygarnet editor of a newspaper by the same name, yea, that's right the dirty garnet.
i was mid tweet when screenwriter, @musinks appeared on the roulette wheel we call twitter, and informed me it was national pie day. this of course sent me into manic mode.
in the midst of spewing endless anecdotes, i was given such helpful tips as: @MouseRoar "I have blueberry coffee to go with your pie"
and this lovely tip: @NoSpankYou Sam, mental note: do not take anything from @darksideintern that is covered with chocolate
hyperspaz already, my goggles were beginning to fog up, as the tears of laughter and giggles erupted, wiggling at my desk, folded over in glee
i needed that laugh, for just then, alice @worldsbarsgurl showed up, and seduced me into a screaming match, which means loud noises and displays of affection usually across and in front of the entire planet
and in all that, i'd forgotten that Garnet was still waiting, probably swilling booze, developing ways to torment the next PM i tossed him the following drivel:
Look Arnold can't afford new laws to become President, @DirtyGarnet so he'll just have to purchase a Throne
so all arnold ended up with after all that was my sarcasm, he shoulda offered me a part in his next movie
the whirlwind that blew excited my paws
sitting down to watch the game, and fire up "my twitter" it started out encouragingly enough @falloutgrrl wished me a snuggle wiggle, i'm a sucker for those
immediately i was presented by my publicist @askbellawagner that the little brat, @samdaferret had bet against her and wagered his allowance on the Bears; the hectic encouragement to use my magic powers on Green Bay was not needed, as it looks like DaFerret has worn the wrong cap again
then i was informed that arnold wanted to buy the throne of california by @dirtygarnet editor of a newspaper by the same name, yea, that's right the dirty garnet.
i was mid tweet when screenwriter, @musinks appeared on the roulette wheel we call twitter, and informed me it was national pie day. this of course sent me into manic mode.
in the midst of spewing endless anecdotes, i was given such helpful tips as: @MouseRoar "I have blueberry coffee to go with your pie"
and this lovely tip: @NoSpankYou Sam, mental note: do not take anything from @darksideintern that is covered with chocolate
hyperspaz already, my goggles were beginning to fog up, as the tears of laughter and giggles erupted, wiggling at my desk, folded over in glee
i needed that laugh, for just then, alice @worldsbarsgurl showed up, and seduced me into a screaming match, which means loud noises and displays of affection usually across and in front of the entire planet
and in all that, i'd forgotten that Garnet was still waiting, probably swilling booze, developing ways to torment the next PM i tossed him the following drivel:
Look Arnold can't afford new laws to become President, @DirtyGarnet so he'll just have to purchase a Throne
so all arnold ended up with after all that was my sarcasm, he shoulda offered me a part in his next movie
Saturday, January 22, 2011
archandroid
a ferret can get into any concert, and if not napping, have a good time! this gal can sing, smooooove and silky... download one of these mp3 clips, and do something hip...
Click Here! The ArchAndroid
Friday, January 21, 2011
china
i was so excited, i'd seen china on the history channel, a big dam was being built, the largest in the world! then i saw the white house was entertaining the chinese president, and there were pandas.. pandas! i had to go to china.
i was gonna' go first class, spare no expenses, i was going to travel to china in style......right through the flower pot
now my burrow mates were ok with this, but they didn't want to participate, with barely a goodbye, and "see ya" it happened all so quickly
i was diggin' and diggin' and was going to get there, when the potted tree fell out, and all over the floor. half way through my trip, i got tuckered out, my energy petered out, and that's where they saw me
my pet human found me asleep in a big pile of dirt, curled up, in the biggest mess they'd ever seen. the human trip was only a day and half, and in that time i'd dug half way to china
i got picked up, and whisked off to my hammock with a snuggle and kiss... i'll have to start all over again one day
_________________________________________
Janelle Monae The ArchAndroid Really Cool if you want hip, buy this
i was gonna' go first class, spare no expenses, i was going to travel to china in style......right through the flower pot
now my burrow mates were ok with this, but they didn't want to participate, with barely a goodbye, and "see ya" it happened all so quickly
i was diggin' and diggin' and was going to get there, when the potted tree fell out, and all over the floor. half way through my trip, i got tuckered out, my energy petered out, and that's where they saw me
my pet human found me asleep in a big pile of dirt, curled up, in the biggest mess they'd ever seen. the human trip was only a day and half, and in that time i'd dug half way to china
i got picked up, and whisked off to my hammock with a snuggle and kiss... i'll have to start all over again one day
_________________________________________
Janelle Monae The ArchAndroid
Really Cool if you want hip, buy this
Thursday, January 20, 2011
rocky the maltese
i have nothing against dogs. i don't fear them, they are curious about me. hard to think of the last time i jumped on a dog's back to teach them some smoove moves and the dog didn't get completely unglued. it is so unfair.
nobody told me the dogs don't want to learn to dance.
like this story: rocky the singing maltese my uncle freddie has been dispatched to the scene, so we can get interviews with the participants, and to the truth... just to show i am impartial, and an "equal specie" neutral journalist/editor type, i bring you the story of
Rocky the Singing Maltese
http://www.postchronicle.com/news/strange/article_212344178.shtml
top of blog
return to twitter
the rare, endangered black footed ferret by National Geographic
nobody told me the dogs don't want to learn to dance.
like this story: rocky the singing maltese my uncle freddie has been dispatched to the scene, so we can get interviews with the participants, and to the truth... just to show i am impartial, and an "equal specie" neutral journalist/editor type, i bring you the story of
Rocky the Singing Maltese
http://www.postchronicle.com/news/strange/article_212344178.shtml
top of blog
return to twitter
the rare, endangered black footed ferret by National Geographic
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