just livin' right

sometimes it just all works out, and the symbiotic connection is wonderful, maybe spiritual who knows it's all good ~ we make instant sense to each other ~ i ~ wiggle ~ for ~ these ~ moments

  how to appoint a high level driveler

idn't it nice when the passin' out o' titles works so well?!!  follow @scablander

i tweet at @Samuel_Clemons  if you stop by for a spot o tea; leave your @twitterhandle in the comment section

Only to My Friends!

IN RESPONSE TO ALL THE RECENT E-MAILS ABOUT OUR DOG:

PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT OUR DOG!  YES, HE MAULED SIX PEOPLE WEARING OBAMA T-SHIRTS, FOUR PEOPLE WEARING PELOSI T-SHIRTS, NINE TEENAGERS WITH PANTS HANGING PAST THEIR CRACK, THREE FLAG BURNERS, AND A PAKISTANI TAXI DRIVER.

FOR THE LAST TIME ... THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE!

 

 NO, I DO NOT APPROVE OF HIS SMOKING, BUT HE SAYS IT HELPS GET THE 'BAD TASTE' OUT OF HIS MOUTH!

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this has found it's way into my eMail, and has no Copyright, it is NOT of my making,  i just figured everyone would like to see a smoking canine...  woof woof

if you want to stop by for a spot o' tea, please leave your @TwitterHandle  i am da Colonel, @samuel_clemons on twitter and SamLClemons on Facebook 

a typical morning

i wanted to give my one adoring fan a blog post, i likes to stick wif what works for me: useless drivel, complete nonsense, and  good thorough time wasting roll fru da ether....  hopefully i have not disappointed you fan, whoever you are

before i begin, i have a problem: my squiggly key is broken, so i can't make wigglies on my twitter.  yep. this is probably a sign of the apocalypse...  just threw dat out there buy tin foil hats or something, tell em Sammy sent ya

today, i wanted you to get a snippet of my twitter timeline, an encapsulated look at what my existence has become, i get my morning massage, ask da pet human to bring me my slippers and tv remote, and settle in for morning reading, this is what I saw:

  you're not supposed to laugh yet, i haven't typed anything,

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what is a "morning read" wiffout seein' my own tweets?  doesn't everybody favorite their own stuff?  just SOP 'round here
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i got all kinds of people, i don't exclude people just because they can't spell....  hey, i can't even reach da shift keys who am i to complain?
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this person seems to have one of those ongoing dialogues with themselves, you know the type, where you can't really get the gist, but sort of?  i love the word Divergent, i have used it to sound intelligent on more than one badass occasion.  bitches
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i don't listen to blogtalk radio, but i got a big gig coming up... i wonder how many people will actually tune into this guy, if he has at least one loyal fan, he's probably doing better than me
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now this one is cool... i like the word Tao..you know, the tao of wiggles, the tao of ferret cuteness - but Dao?  i might have to pilfer dat word
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origins of the world, huh? i saw this and wondered if it was another crackpot theory by the world's leading astrophysicists, who ironically claim that: "it takes a great leap of faith to believe our theories of the origins of the Universe"  yea, no kidding
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my deepest knowing? it is far too early to contemplate my deepest knowing, the pet human didn't bring da remote; now i'm gonna have to chew da buttons off to show my disgust...

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good morning from ferret burrow virginia, if ya stop by, leave your Twitter Handle in the comment, and bring yo deepest .... errrr  bring some useless drivel 

A Report from the Colonel

It's been a while. Jan 1st, don't get all sentimental on me.  Thought I'd bring you news from the front.  As Master Pilferer, i rise from my naps, and snag your filet mignon, preferably lobster, and hide it under the sofa.  i use diversionary tactics to keep you from looking there.

that was my ninja tip for the bi annual.


ciao my lovelies

Another Year Another Wiggle

i am not a real big believer in new years celebrations, driving drunk across the living room in my GI Joe Hummer is not a pleasant site - i might get pulled over by the dog, get a sniffalyser - the cat would mock me from her sofa'd perch.

why am i to put a lot of stock anyway in some date set by  gregorian monks 1700 years ago?  i heard they were all winos.

uncle freddie last night said:  "those new years resolutions, Sammy?  they're all crap"

but as am wont to do, i've had a chance to reflect and think about my attitude, the things i value most, like my chewed up plastic spoon, the super secret shiny wrapper collection under da sofa; the ice cream sandwich behind the clothes dryer - it's still there, nobody's pilfered it yet...


and i realize i really do have a lot to be grateful for

i've made it another year without actually doing anything important - which is vitally important. i'd hate to think that my reputation for napping was ever impinged

uncle freddie's getting grumpier, and older, and more feeble, but i am grateful for him shaping me into the ferret i am today, an honor to share a tea with him 

the dog didn't really enjoy her bowling ball i got her for Christmas last year, so this year, i gave her a frying pan.  she stared at me with those loving eyes, and I got a lick - that was impressive

the cat, well, let's just say i am grateful for the cat by paying it forward.  that one's on faith.


which pretty much goes for the pet human, i think it has issues, it will probably never really be much use to anyone without me; so i am grateful for the opportunity to be in charge, and keep everything in order.

lastly, i am grateful that i still believe in magic - the best things in life are what we decide to believe in;  and that i can still choose to be happy - no matter how many obstacles come my way.


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if you liked this story, you might like:  i believe in Santa  fairies, magic wizards and big foot

sam is on Twitter at @Samuel_Clemons

if you leave a comment, remember to leave your Twitter Handle, so i can stop by and pilfer a sock