Sunday, November 10, 2013

just livin' right

sometimes it just all works out, and the symbiotic connection is wonderful, maybe spiritual who knows it's all good ~ we make instant sense to each other ~ i ~ wiggle ~ for ~ these ~ moments

  how to appoint a high level driveler


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idn't it nice when the passin' out o' titles works so well?!!  follow @scablander

i tweet at @Samuel_Clemons  if you stop by for a spot o tea; leave your @twitterhandle in the comment section

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Only to My Friends!

IN RESPONSE TO ALL THE RECENT E-MAILS ABOUT OUR DOG:
PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT OUR DOG!  YES, HE MAULED SIX PEOPLE WEARING OBAMA T-SHIRTS, FOUR PEOPLE WEARING PELOSI T-SHIRTS, NINE TEENAGERS WITH PANTS HANGING PAST THEIR CRACK, THREE FLAG BURNERS, AND A PAKISTANI TAXI DRIVER.
FOR THE LAST TIME ... THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE!

 https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2uAcIY2REXQJqk61EtXiLWwdESDGPfLBDdNDZvCRq1HJKRJZn7rQnY6WInnNRR9w-1aezxn2h3e9T-S5-KbUdi31-Td3iOlKj6-JiLop_b3u7c2mwr_kY588wyEYFQxW-Abvgkr5bWMD1/s1600/OURDOG.gif
 NO, I DO NOT APPROVE OF HIS SMOKING, BUT HE SAYS IT HELPS GET THE 'BAD TASTE' OUT OF HIS MOUTH!

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this has found it's way into my eMail, and has no Copyright, it is NOT of my making,  i just figured everyone would like to see a smoking canine...  woof woof

if you want to stop by for a spot o' tea, please leave your @TwitterHandle  i am da Colonel, @samuel_clemons on twitter and SamLClemons on Facebook 

Thursday, September 5, 2013

a typical morning

i wanted to give my one adoring fan a blog post, i likes to stick wif what works for me: useless drivel, complete nonsense, and  good thorough time wasting roll fru da ether....  hopefully i have not disappointed you fan, whoever you are

before i begin, i have a problem: my squiggly key is broken, so i can't make wigglies on my twitter.  yep. this is probably a sign of the apocalypse...  just threw dat out there buy tin foil hats or something, tell em Sammy sent ya

today, i wanted you to get a snippet of my twitter timeline, an encapsulated look at what my existence has become, i get my morning massage, ask da pet human to bring me my slippers and tv remote, and settle in for morning reading, this is what I saw:


  you're not supposed to laugh yet, i haven't typed anything,

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what is a "morning read" wiffout seein' my own tweets?  doesn't everybody favorite their own stuff?  just SOP 'round here
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i got all kinds of people, i don't exclude people just because they can't spell....  hey, i can't even reach da shift keys who am i to complain?
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this person seems to have one of those ongoing dialogues with themselves, you know the type, where you can't really get the gist, but sort of?  i love the word Divergent, i have used it to sound intelligent on more than one badass occasion.  bitches
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i don't listen to blogtalk radio, but i got a big gig coming up... i wonder how many people will actually tune into this guy, if he has at least one loyal fan, he's probably doing better than me
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now this one is cool... i like the word Tao..you know, the tao of wiggles, the tao of ferret cuteness - but Dao?  i might have to pilfer dat word
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origins of the world, huh? i saw this and wondered if it was another crackpot theory by the world's leading astrophysicists, who ironically claim that: "it takes a great leap of faith to believe our theories of the origins of the Universe"  yea, no kidding
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my deepest knowing? it is far too early to contemplate my deepest knowing, the pet human didn't bring da remote; now i'm gonna have to chew da buttons off to show my disgust...

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good morning from ferret burrow virginia, if ya stop by, leave your Twitter Handle in the comment, and bring yo deepest .... errrr  bring some useless drivel 



Friday, July 26, 2013

A Report from the Colonel



It's been a while. Jan 1st, don't get all sentimental on me.  Thought I'd bring you news from the front.  As Master Pilferer, i rise from my naps, and snag your filet mignon, preferably lobster, and hide it under the sofa.  i use diversionary tactics to keep you from looking there.

that was my ninja tip for the bi annual.


ciao my lovelies

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Another Year Another Wiggle

i am not a real big believer in new years celebrations, driving drunk across the living room in my GI Joe Hummer is not a pleasant site - i might get pulled over by the dog, get a sniffalyser - the cat would mock me from her sofa'd perch.

why am i to put a lot of stock anyway in some date set by  gregorian monks 1700 years ago?  i heard they were all winos.

uncle freddie last night said:  "those new years resolutions, Sammy?  they're all crap"

but as am wont to do, i've had a chance to reflect and think about my attitude, the things i value most, like my chewed up plastic spoon, the super secret shiny wrapper collection under da sofa; the ice cream sandwich behind the clothes dryer - it's still there, nobody's pilfered it yet...


and i realize i really do have a lot to be grateful for

i've made it another year without actually doing anything important - which is vitally important. i'd hate to think that my reputation for napping was ever impinged

uncle freddie's getting grumpier, and older, and more feeble, but i am grateful for him shaping me into the ferret i am today, an honor to share a tea with him 

the dog didn't really enjoy her bowling ball i got her for Christmas last year, so this year, i gave her a frying pan.  she stared at me with those loving eyes, and I got a lick - that was impressive

the cat, well, let's just say i am grateful for the cat by paying it forward.  that one's on faith.


which pretty much goes for the pet human, i think it has issues, it will probably never really be much use to anyone without me; so i am grateful for the opportunity to be in charge, and keep everything in order.

lastly, i am grateful that i still believe in magic - the best things in life are what we decide to believe in;  and that i can still choose to be happy - no matter how many obstacles come my way.


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if you liked this story, you might like:  i believe in Santa  fairies, magic wizards and big foot

sam is on Twitter at @Samuel_Clemons

if you leave a comment, remember to leave your Twitter Handle, so i can stop by and pilfer a sock