my cartoons were pre empted by non stop hurricane coverage! how could this be? what is a ferret to do on his back watching this stuff? no... this would not do, and i was taken in by the drama, first a category 3, possibly a 5, i had to stock up on poptarts and decided that the only logical thing to do was corner the market on them; i figured if there was going to be a power outage, then i better have plenty of blueberry...
the grocery clerk's expression was a mix of speechlessness and slightly raised eyebrows over her glasses when she saw two shopping carts full of the delectable hurricane food; "you are so cute" and the pet human smiled back at her, thinking she was speaking to him. she: "no not you, lil sam, he's so cute..." to which the pet human sort of smiled a grunt of acceptance... "you really like blueberry don't you?" she asked, "oh, he has to have the shiny wrappers, he's a hoarder" said my pet;
much the same reaction at the hardware store, the gas station, i thought it might be a good idea to oversee the entire operation, you never know when a pet human might need some assistance;
my scheme is simple: if i corner the market on blueberry, the law of supply and demand should drive the price up... it's pure logic: by my estimates, when the hurricane wipes the entire east coast off the map, with long lines at the soup kitchens, and Red Cross feeding troughs, i would be sitting on a gold mine, literally, not that i would willingly part with any shiny wrappers, but if my calculations were correct, i would be a rich ferret!
and this morning i awoke to the bad news: hurricane Irene was a complete bummer; one lady phoned in to the local newstation: "The storm blew my dog's squeaky shark off the roof" another said she saw a couple of leaves on her neighbor's yard... and the weather guy stationed at the beach said that Irene blew the harbor camera off by 6 or 7 degrees, evidence of it's ferocity...
|The Lady Never Liked This Tree Anyway|
one new york caller tweeted the washington, DC desk: "we are asking if this storm will mean we should get a shopping bag of poptarts...." obviously hoodwinked by the media blitz; at least i knew i was onto something; the journalist wrly commented, "no you probably won't need to stock up"
and the local news stations, rather than go back to regular programming, are STILL broadcasting this non event, are non stop IreneCasting! as if by sheer force of will showing pictures of a couple of downed trees, and non flooded streets of historic Alexandria, VA this will justify their hijacking of the airwaves for the last two days; they could at least let me watch some SUNDAY cartoons, maybe the cat will change her mind, and take to dancing wif me? but no, here they are showing a couple of trees blown over, and two limbs in a couple of front yards; all of which in hindsight makes about as much sense as... well as ....
me trying to corner the market on blueberry poptarts.
I Tweet at @Samuel_Clemons