Geraldo Moustache Rivera was once a fine attorney. He sat in his office listening to the police scanner, and raced to the scene of automobile accidents. Very opportunistic. Having tried his luck at being a shyster he went into Journalism. Then TV. Then he wrote a tell all book where he confessed to having sex with anything that moved. Quite a career. So I have learned that one has to be pretty fast getting to the good stories before the attorney/journalists.
So it is wif my Twitter Attorney, @PiperBayard who is now a professional belly dancer, blogger, and story chaser. One time I was gonna do a story on the lost pygmies of Borneo - I get to Borneo, she's in the jungle teaching them how to surf the Internet. Then I was gonna send my Uncle Freddie to Sweden to do a story on hot new massage techniques... He get's off the plane, and to his first appointment: There's @PiperBayard soaking in the hot tub!!
So it goes in the rough and tumble world of the sleuth. We eat our own young if we have to. Let alone our attorney. (Officially, I don't think they are edible) Her headline today? Marriage Proposals and Bass Boats. http://piperbayard.wordpress.com/2012/02/08/marriage-proposals-and-bass-boats-the-love-doctors/ I mean, how was I to compete wif dat???? So I went out and scoured the entire Internet. Searched 54 Billion pages, did a quick speed read, and found a couple of hot topics.
Absolutely Shocking!! hard to fathom the depravity of some pet humans!!
no, they are not streaking across golf courses, no they are not TIVOing American Idol, no, even worse!! 19,000 have “Liked” a Facebook page of In Bread Cats!!!
IN BREAD CATS ARE HOT ON THE INTERNET
And their Counterpart, which only has 20 “Likes” STOP INBREAD CATS http://www.facebook.com/pages/Stop-inbread-cats/279411745404122 has some catching up to do.
It is interesting to note that "STOP INBREAD CATS" A. Is not very popular and B. Has absolutely no problem using a cat in a piece of bread on his Facebook.
And of course, we can't be too high brow here, so a little story that is more mainstream:
MAN SAYS RETRIEVER STRANGLED HIS WIFE
yea, blame the lovely dog. The author of that story is right. This guy should get extra time, just for saying the doggy did it.
I also beat @PiperBayard on this one:
(Reuters) - South African police have arrested a suspected fraudster for impersonating the award-winning traditional singer Khulekani Kwakhe "Mgqumeni" Khumalo, who died in 2009.
The unnamed man, who appeared in court in the eastern KwaZulu-Natal province on Tuesday, had said he had not died but was kidnapped by a witchdoctor who cast a spell on him and imprisoned him in a cave with zombies, local media reported.
Thousands of people in Khumalo's rural eastern home village of Esiggumeni, turned out to see the man at the weekend. Riot police with truncheons and water cannons were deployed to keep the crowd under control.
"I have always been alive," he was quoted as telling the crowd by the Independent Online news site. "I have lost a lot of weight but it is me."
Police said the suspect's fingerprints do not match those of the famed singer. The man also does not have the same scars on his face as Khumalo had.
"Detectives conducting the enquiry were convinced that the matter required criminal investigation," police said in a statement. (Ed Note: chuckle, chuckle)
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p.s. also, so you don't think you can outwit her. I once asked PiperBayard: "Have you lived in Colorado all your life?" she replied: "Not Yet"