Monday, February 20, 2012

Unleash The Hounds!


We couldn't believe our luck. Big Foot, Harriet and I had finally rounded up the dogs and begged them to stop running. All day we'd been forging through the woods, behind the dogs, who'd gotten the scent of a deer, then a rabbit, the occasional squirrel.



Out of breath, streaked with sweat, even Big Foot was panting. The dogs were laying down, napping in a state of weariness, finally they'd worn themselves out.

I wanted to get back to the cottage, the hole in the hill, Colonel's Dale. I was riding Harriet, and from my vantage point, I called out to Victor, the chief Mastiff: “Vic, are you satisfied, have you had your fun?” 

Victor


“Oh Sam, it was glorious, did you see? We have had a wonderful day!” They  didn't catch anything, or track anything down, all they'd done was chase animals they'd never find.

“I saw, Victor. Now which way is the Dale?”

Victor looked around, back and forth, sniffed the air in an oh so serious manner and promptly fell asleep.

Never one to miss a nap, I curled up on Harriet's forehead, between her ears.


The lot of us had gathered our second wind as evening came, with Victor walking out in front, the rest of his pack looking to stretch their strides again, yet loyal to the pack, limited by their instinct to follow their leader. We came up to the Dale, and then the cottage, Victor pacing us. He'd found my cottage after all, a pleasantness began to settle over me, a cup of tea beckoned from within.

Big Foot went off into the woods, Harriet made her way into the Barn, I heard the familiar voice of Uncle Freddie, as if he'd had a cocktail or two.

Stumbling through the stoop, he shouted, a bit too loud: “Good to see ya, Sammy!!” Victor and the pack made their way in to the cottage, dogs akimbo, sprawling on my sofas, leather chairs, everywhere were floppy ears, and stretched limbs. All of them made themselves quite at home, proud of their day's achievements, comfortable.

Wiggling  to the kitchen, I put on the tea kettle, and pulled a tin of blueberry scones. I was thinking of a couple of tweets I could send out about this day's adventures. So nice to be home after wandering the woods.

An ear splitting sound rocked my bliss. Uncle Freddie was blasting the hunting horn, a gift from the Roving Black Footed Ferrets of the Prairie. Of a sudden motion, every single dog started barking and howling, and carrying on. Leading the noise was Victor, that beast!! 

What a noise, Uncle Freddie blasting the horn, the dogs, all on their feet, noses lifted ceilingward as they barked, howled, and raised the roof.

“Unleash the Hounds!!!!!!!!!” Uncle Freddie cried at the top of his lungs, a throwback to a mid-evil world as if he were the chief huntsman. Freddie flung open the door, raising his glass all a flourish,  and yelled again: “UNLEASH THE HOUNDS!!!!!! and out they went, the youngest pup, Marvin,  who after spinning his paws on the entry way, thought better of it all, and decided home is where the blueberry scones are.  Off the rest leaped, into the woods, into the dark of night, on a mission they knew not where. It'd be hours before they realised they didn't even know what they were chasing.

Marvin Aint No Fool


“Size 24, Harriet and I spent all day chasing those dogs.”

To which Uncle Freddie tipsily replied, “I needed a place to sit” 
 

______________________________________

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23 comments:

  1. Lol. Very fun, Sammy. I'm glad for the update on you, Harriet, Uncle Freddie, and Bigfoot. Did Marvin leave you any blueberry scones?

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    Replies
    1. alas, Marvin fell asleep, as did Uncle Freddie. both passed out, and i suspect for completely different reasons

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  2. I loved this! lol I wanted a place to sit...ahh to be dog, they are content even if they don't catch what they were chasing after

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    1. reminds me of an old Seinfeld episode, where George is upset, the other guy is making all the sales, and his dad says: "What, are you kidding, his phone wasn't even plugged in"

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  3. Maybe Size 24 will cut 'em off at the pass, Sam. You gotta keep the schnapps away from Uncle Freddie!!

    I tweet at @ProNetworkBuild

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    Replies
    1. Uncle Freddie brings his own, probably has a trunk full of booze. did you see his friend the drunk elk?

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  4. mmmm huh ~ "Uncle Freddie" in the equation = expect the unexpected! Sammy, hide the 'hunting horn' & don't worry if you forget where you've hidden it!
    * * *
    Marvin is adorable! Actually all of you are quite adorable.
    * * *
    I'm @grammakaye on twitter.

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    Replies
    1. Marvin might need his own blog, who knows?? cute always trumps everything else, have you noticed?

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  5. Uncle Freddie's ability to secure his comfort after the odd one or two cocktails is impressive. He would most definitely be a useful addition to my "Who would you invite into your life boat" list; which is the definitive useful people, ferret & assorted other list.

    Given that the hounds respond to the horn, it is reassuring that you will always be able to find them, dog catchers are a constant worry.

    Your HRH Ferret Hansom, witty, wiggling awesomeness...
    Just thought I should mention...Blueberry scones indeed all scones should be baked & eaten the same day. Never be kept in tinned, plastic or any other type of container. This will result in them becoming heavy. Being English I am passionate about scones... So your awesomeness I will share the secret family tip with you. After cooling on wire rack place in linen lined basket & cover with linen napkin.

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    1. Uncle Freddie has an extensive network of critters throughout the world, and is able to gather all kinds of tid bits and odd bits of information. it's probl the only reason i let him around me at all.

      the hounds generally return around supper time, proud of their run. they have never once, in their infernal lives caught a darn thing

      as to the scones, "pulled a tin" simply rolled off da paws better than "baked some scones" ... i am not much of a baker, although, like most things, i claim to be

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    2. There goes my "never explain" maxim; which just reaffirms how absolutely fearless you are. I am no doubt completely lacking in insight not to appreciate you would apply your renowned artistic license to the matter of scone storage. I humbly beg pardon your awesomeness & toss in the odd ingratiating ~~wiggle~~

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  6. Gotta watch out for those Roving Black Footed Ferrets of the Prairie, LOL - they start to give people ideas (and tools). What a fun tale, Sammy!

    I tweet at @kbowenwriter

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    1. you know, that is one of those stories i have alluded to here and there, but never given it my key stroking lil paws much more than that.

      the Hippy Gypsy Clan of the Wild Roving Black Footed Ferrets of the Prairie... and how they adopted me into the Clan, and taught me the Way of the Great Pop Tart...

      might require two tea kettles to tell that tale, don' you think Mrs. Owen?

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  7. I think that the hounds can be taken as a metaphor for the ego, which is easily distractable and chases things willy-nilly, but never seems to catch them. This doesn't deter it from chasing dreams and engaging in self-defeating tail chases, though. The ego doesn't have to have a reason to go crazy, that is its default mode.

    Also, I love Uncle Freddie.

    I tweet at @lesliehedrick

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    1. you would of course like Uncle Freddie. he embodies that part of all us which is a bit dysfunctional, to some degree or another, but which we of course cannot see in ourselves. the completely absurd becomes the norm, the chaotic is just something some ferrets thrive on. of course, pet humans don't suffer from this, they are all "normal".

      as to the ego? does that really exist? i'd heard a rumor........

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  8. What did you slip Marvin??? He looks like hes having the ride of his life...

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  9. I'm in love with Victor. Really. I may come and attempt to lure him to my pack with homemade Snickers bars and lengthy ear fondling. No lie.

    Sounds like an absolutely smashing outing. Leave it to Uncle Freddie to stir things up!

    With 2 of my 3 dogs currently sleeping on my feet, I tweet at @MuseInks

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    1. good eye, Mademoiselle, he is indeed a beauty, a grey Mastiff, leader of the hunt, the true pack leader, and would likely not take much guff off of any critter he encounters.... sad that he's never caught anything, or is likely to ever catch anything - what would you expect from anyone who hangs with my motley crew?

      he might just appear in a story or two in the future; i believe i recall a story where he teaches Marvin the ropes about what it's like to be a real hunting hound, and something about Marvin having to be carried home ... Victor would never leave his friends on the battlefield ~wink~

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  10. Ahh... the life of Sam!

    I can't BELIEVE I wasn't following this blog! Twitter, yes, but here no. I put an end to that foolishness.

    I tweet at @thatgalkiki

    xxoo

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    1. well, i have always followed your's Christine, and always been good about tweeting new posts. if you see a lil ferret sized "blip" upward in your stats file? that wuz me. and yea, life is interesting, even if i sometimes poke fun at myself and dysfunctional family.

      Col Sam

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  11. For a moment I thought I was reading a chapter out of "The Ferret of the Rings." Have you ever considered hiding a sock in Uncle Freddy's hunting horn? That will distract him long enough for you to get all the scones! (of course the dogs would still be there and expect you to share so maybe it's a bad idea after all.)

    @lizamartz

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    ReplyDelete