Thursday, September 8, 2011

uncle freddie and the drunk elk

it is no secret that uncle freddie is the family alcoholic.   he might think he's fooling someone, but we know.  if a house is known by the company it keeps, then freddie lives with jack daniels, and someone by the name of mr. smirnoff

rich, free wheeling uncle freddie in Sweden says it's quite normal for drunken elk to stumble around after hours, teetering, singing sailors' verse, and slurring a few words.

he's been known to frolick with them himself, and tie one on.  after closing down the bar, the friendly swedish cops keep their eyes out for them, as they make it back to the burrow, the elk  wavering down the street, laughing and keeping late hours with  freddie rambling picaresque adventures; in a bad impersonation of julio iglesias: "to all the ferrets i've loved before....." 

not surprised was freddie, when one of his drinking cohorts made the news, but fascinated was he when the story went viral.

this time of year, the elk imbibe on fermented apples; catch a buzz.  the elk in question was seen earlier in the day tottering through the street, mumbling, "deer get all the press..."

after working himself into a blackout drunk, the elk could not stop.  like a true addict, in his pickled stupor, he had to get one last apple from the tree.

nothing worse than a black out drinker
 it was that "just one more" apple that left the elk in an embarrassing position, bereft of dignity, yet ignorant of it all in his muddled, jumbled state - "just one more apple, Stella, just one more..." 

and that's where Per Johannson found him, "I thought at first that someone was having a laugh. Then, I went over to take a look and spotted an elk stuck in an apple tree with only one leg left on the ground," Johansson told newspaper The Local.

not having much luck freeing the inebriated critter, the fire dept was called, and the elk passed out in the yard...curled up in the fetal position.... after telling the firemen: "i love you guys...have i ever told you how much i love you? i reallyloveyou..."

by sun up, the elk, in true alcoholic fashion was last seen stumbling down the street to The Red Deer Grill....  presumably for a morning coffee, but you can never tell with uncle freddie's friends.

the elk may just do it all over again.  with rich alchy freddie right behind him.

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  1. Drunken Elk. Where do you find this stuff? I thought the "curled up in the fetal position" was good stuff. I am still laughing at the entire spectacle.

    I tweet at @ProNetworkBuild Lon Dunn

  2. Lol. I knew you'd see this one, too. I saw this and wondered if Uncle Freddie had a hand in it. If we publish simultaneously, does that still mean you scooped me on the story?

  3. What a riot! Looks like an underage drinker, too.

  4. I find that I am usually at the I love you stage just before the fetal position stage. Sometimes they occur simultaneously, but then again, those times are rarely remembered. So they never happened.

    Enjoyable story and watch out for those ferrets, I hear they can get drunk as skunks!

  5. In boston this past weekend a group of 20-something guys told me they loved me, way too many times. I thought it was boston's hempfest. Now I know it was the apples. Thanks for the laugh.

  6. Do you think it was shameful for the elk to walk home in the same pelt it had wore out the night before? Hahaha!