Why I Got Divorced

I didn't write this. I generally don't even post or read jokes I get in my eMails.  You know messy viruses attached, etc. But it came from my Cousin Vinny Ferret, and he's pretty good at making sure my machine get's locked up, fails and the harddrive crashes at least once or twice a year, so I felt good about this one.  I was thinking, oh good, he's finally gonna meet a real ferret...someone he can settle  down with. 

So here's Sarcastic Sam's Cousin Vinnie's eMail Joke, Authorship Unknown, No Known Copyright. 

Why I'm divorced . . ...

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning..  
I went downstairs for breakfast  
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,  
'Happy Birthday!',  
and possibly have a small present for me.  

As it turned out,  
she barely said good morning,  
let alone  
' Happy Birthday.'  

I thought....  

Well, that's marriage for you,  
but the kids....  
They will remember.  

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..  
So when I left for the office,  
I felt pretty low  and somewhat despondent.  

As I walked into my office,  
my secretary Jane said,  
'Good Morning Boss, and by the way  
Happy Birthday ! '  

It felt a little better  
that at least someone had remembered.  

I worked until one o'clock ,  
when Jane knocked on my door  
and said, 'You know,  
It's such a beautiful day outside,  
and it is your Birthday,  
what do you say we go out to lunch,  
just you and me..'  
I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing  
I've heard all day. Let's go !'  

We went to lunch.  
But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro  
with a private table.  
We had two martinis each  
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.  

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,  
It's such a beautiful day...  
We don't need to go straight back to the office,  
Do We ?'  

I responded,  'I guess not.  
What do you have in mind ?'  
She said,  
'Let's drop by my apartment,  
it's just around the corner..'  

After arriving at her apartment,  
Jane turned to me and said,
' Boss, if you don't mind,  
I'm going to step into the bedroom  
for just a moment.  
I'll be right back.'  
'Ok.' I nervously replied.  

She went into the bedroom and,  
after a couple of minutes,  
she came out  
carrying a huge birthday cake ...  
Followed  
by my wife,  my kids,  
and dozens of my friends  
and co-workers,  
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.  


And I just sat there....  

On the couch....  

Naked.
           
 
 

 

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If you would like to link your blog to mine, no problem, or you like a funny story or two, feel free to vent. Life is better when we smile and provide the world a place to laugh. Serious blogs?  Well that's ok too, I'll get the reader, let them decide what they like.. ....Come one come all and all that good crap.