"sammy, i did it, i pressed the panic button"
"panic button? that is a literary device or verbal expression, Uncle Freddie. it doesn't really exist."
"oh, yes it does. they are real"
"i'm just having my coffee, Fred, come on!" i whined, "hazelnut, wif a touch o' cinnamon. can you call me back later?"
"I AM TELLING YOU THERE IS A REAL PANIC BUTTON!!" he yelled into the phone. "hold one sec, Sammy, my boy, the cops are here"
i heard an authoritarian voice in the background, "we would have gotten here sooner, but my partner had to finish his coffee... vanilla bean with a couple shots of caramel. what seems to be the problem?" apparently, Uncle Freddie didn't bother to cover the mouthpiece of his iPhone
"i was on my way to the Corcoran. i'm meeting a lady there, and i forgot to stop and get a morning sip o' coffee" said Uncle Freddie.
|Corcoran DC No Art Had Coffee Spilled on it in the writing of this blog|
"you pressed the Panic Button for this?" said the Policeman, "we were busy, ah...we were on an assignment..." he backtracked "are you a tourist?"
"tourist? i own dis town!" Uncle Freddie indignantly declared
"Sir, the Taxi Panic Button is NOT, i repeat NOT for us to deliver your coffee!" said the cop, pausing, then, "hey Larry, this guy pressed the panic button because he wanted coffee" apparently talking to his partner.
in the background, "i don't blame him" the voice approached "what flavor do you fancy, sir?" now this new voice entered the fray
"chocolate mocha, wif whipped, and a just a pinch o' sugar, my vice of course" said Freddie
Larry, the partner could be heard to say "mmmm, that sounds delish. i'll have to try that"
"Uncle Freddie, there is a panic button in the Cab? this wasn't a joke?"
"no, Sammy. it took the cops a while to show up, but at least it works. i wanted to be one of the first to test it. i love this" said Freddie (article)
"well, try to keep your alerts for the cops, and don't bother me with the details, please?" i said.
finally speaking up, the cabby, broke in with: "what do i do?" supplicating to the cops for advice, directions, or permission to proceed
i heard the first cop ask the cabby, before i hung up: "what kind of coffee do you drink?"
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