top ten funny twitter accounts

i was surfing around on my barbie surfer, because GI Joe needs to get some cooler stuff, barbie has everything, and i have to use chick bikes, her corvette if i wanna burn rubber and leave marks on my human's floor... i mean i can train my human to do just about anything, i might get him to paint all this barbie stuff a really cool shade of blue...

so i was surfing around, and wanted some funny stuff, and found a site that had the "funniest" people to follow on Titter..  i found one the other day:  MileysBong  all fine and good, but the account had run out about two weeks ago, right along with that boring story, i mean a teenager smoking pot?  yea, ok, since everyone in america has tried pot, including our last 18 presidents, that was predictable...

so this site suggests 10 funny people to follow! how absolutely a waste of time is that?  i mean they chose "the onion" as number one...  are they kidding me?  no pun there, sorry. 

this is a shout out to the millions, and i mean millions of tweets daily which come from everyday people:  witty, smarmy, sarcastic, funny, humorous, and just downright hilarious.  Twitter is a pretty funny place, and it deserves a whole lot better than a "top ten funny twerson's" list

Pride and Prejudice

persistence and the number 241543903

persistence is a powerful thing.  one can put their tweets on auto rotation with software, and keep posting their blog entries at random or regular intervals, and eventually, if they are persistent, everyone on their timeline will get a shot at that hyperlink on Twitter.  facebook is the same way, if one posts the same information with different "headlines" or eye catching compelling titles, eventually their fr and fam  will see it, and give it a click.  Linkedin is no different, join enough groups, post links to enough professionals, and again, use compelling short topics,  people will see us.

so there really is a fine line between persistence and outright spam.  i tend to think of spam as redundant, the same post over and over with no variation, this is annoying, and shallow, and obvious, but is persistence spam as well?  i guess spam in and of itself then is hard to define when we look at the word in light of persistence, one person's spam is another's determination?

no, i am not OCD, no I am not OCD, no I am not OCD..  if i tell myself i am not obsessive compulsive, being a ferret, is that not a bit of obsession?

so my point is this:  there is a pretty unique number we can find by gOOgling it, that is going to gOOgle and typing in the number 241543903.   here, i've done it for you, right click this link ( open in another window ) but remember to come "back" here when you are through
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=241543903

the third "hit"  or gOOGle entry states:

Oct 26, 2009 ... 241543903 (a.k.a Heads in Freezers) is a numerical keyword associated with a photo meme that involves people taking pictures with their ...  


so we know that the story dates back to at least October 2009 and yet persists to this day, to wit, if you simply type in gOOgle in your search on Twitter, you can still find this story, almost 15 months later!

so this is spam or persistence?  well, if you are a pissed off, drunken sot with no life, and want something to complain about, it's probably spam to you, and should be barred from the internet, and these people who stick their heads in freezers are complete losers, and they are all part of a plan to spam the entire world with their idiot photos on flicker or Twitpic or wherever it is they are posting them

however if you are one of the people with your head in the freezer, you think the number 241543903 is a cute reminder of the viral effect of the internet, and you have your half second of fame, not quite andy warhol's 15 min, but what the heck

and alas, if you are the ingenious creater of 241543903, you are quite tickled with yourself,  because against all odds, in the very face of logic, and all that is important to anyone in this world, with absolutely no key word search, no help from corporate investors, this crazy if not entirely random number is associated with people sticking their heads in freezers and having it's own set of searches on gOOgle.  without persistence, and keeping this crazy story alive it would have died out in an hour, when the first person didn't rush to put his/her head in the freezer!  whoever set out to make this point had to have persistence, to keep it alive this long, that much is clear



often, my fine folks, the difference between failure and success is persistence

thomas edison said, he failed 1,000 times in attempting to create artificial light, and  failure was just part of success, the two go hand in hand

so next time you want to give up, next time you are exhausted, next time you are convinced that it's probably all been a big waste of time, remember:

the difference between making it, and not making it, is "one more try"

penelope and the fat man

     i was outside on the corner with this cat, she'd been teasing all the alleycats, acting nervous, and it seemed she wanted a distraction.  being such a good lookin hunk a flesh as i am, cats don't bother me, like maybe they bother some animals... had i been a dog, or parakeet, maybe she would have caused a ruckus; a cacophony of noise would have erupted, the pandemonium would have gotten us all run off, but such was not the case, i sorta' eased my way into the conversation, with my charming smile, and gave her my best look, which isn't hard, slayer they called me in college, i just slay all the chicks, when i heard and saw the biggest fattest guy in my life arrive in a flourish, there wasn't much choice but to stare, no manners were being observed in this instance, this guy was big, and he rode the smallest little scooter right up on to the curb, with no hesitation, then i noticed the milk crate contraption attached to the handlebars and a movement, it was a pug dog, inside the box, a pug! a pug, was in the milk crate.  now i don't often question my perceptions, they are what i have always thought - pretty accurate, shall we call them 'instinctive' with no pun? this was indeed a pug.  i climbed upon the window  sill of the restaurant on the corner to get a better look, and yes, it was a pug, a little pug of a dog, all sniffly and energetic, wrapped in a dog sized sweatshirt, and another sweater over that, a pink sweater.  i barely noticed the cat had slipped off down the sidewalk, as i got my vantage point fixed, and asked the fat man,  "what's her name...."   to which he replied,  "penelope"  and i then asked him if he minded if i take a sniff, to which he shook his head yes, as he prepped his bike to go inside the mall, i did indeed sniff penelope, who kindly licked me and gave me a slobber, not realizing the man was in a bit of counter shock himself to meet probably for the first time in his obese, over heart pumped life a talking ferret who wanted to sniff his dog, no wonder he'd only shook his head at me, i was so enthralled, so utterly enchanted with penelope i'd forgotten the shock i sometimes put folks through, and this overweight fella was indeed just a tad bit taken aback. in the long scheme of life, i figured at that moment that one could say we were likely equally shocked by this encounter.  but, alas, i was to be outdone.  the fat man hoisted penelope upon his shoulder, and she balanced nicely i might add thereupon, and walked away into the mall, as I said, "bye penelope!" and waved goodbye.

such are the moments that provide the greatest joys and happiness if we are willing to look and slow down, and see what pops out of milk crates.

Return to the top of the blog to see all of sam's posts

writer wednesday

   i've noticed WW is used by japanese or koreans i think it is like their #FF or something, quite the hashtag on twitter - but the writing community has adopted the #WW anyway, plowing right on through as if we could care less


  so what's a ferret to write about with his new found resolution to write each day?  i tried making my resolutions yesterday:  i will not steal the remote;  i will not chew the rubber buttons off of the remote; i will continue to teach the cat to dance, even when she doesn't want to; i will continue to laugh hysterically when my humans stub their toe; you know the normal stuff

   but my bestest resolve will be my attempt to blog something each morning, and give all my adoring fans ( one ) some little tidbit which is not that hard a resolution, not for me, it's not even discipline really, it's just something that has to be done, and once started watch out,  uh oh, this just in:  Natalie from Portland, "Sam, get on with the story, you freakin windbag"  me:  thanks for that Natalie.

    so why not a quick word about this wednesday thing we call:

   #WW or #WriteWednesday is an interesting concept.  I have noticed that alot of writers don't follow back, or shall we say are not good "list managers"...  But let me tell you  we need each other!

    with the disintegration of the traditional publishing business eBooks and self publishing are exploding.  we as writers need to support one another.  it's important to not be envious of your competitor, let's face it there is a huge world out there and even if a buyer buys all ten of your competitors eBooks, it does not mean they won't buy yours... get over the envy, support other writers, follow back, and get a life

     you may also like a short take on following back

     you may like a piece i wrote on following limits

     click here to return to Twitter  http://twitter.com/samuel_clemons

     Click Here! eBook Software Create Your own eBooks

    DiCaprio Inception Inception (Two-Disc Edition) [Blu-ray]

social media can be a rough place

yesterday i went to a site and posted a comment only to have about 8 to ten members gang up on me, and name call..  which i find just a bit too cute by half.. of course they tout themselves as open minded, of course they have an "open forum" for discussion, and of course they are right....


this morning, before coming over here to my barnyard, i noted that i saw a twerson who was to use her phrase "attacked" on facebook, and another who mentioned ppl talking "behind" her back...  some of this may just be the day of the week, as research has indicated that Tuesday thru Thursday are "mean tweet" days, Thursday being the peek... with the weekends being "happy tweet" days, peeking happily on Sunday...

now, using that logic, and the Nor'eastern that blew through this weekend, maybe people are getting cabin fever, maybe they are isolating, maybe they are feeling depressed, and expressing it in their social media posts, and i can accept that especially since it's my own rationalization


but are we taking it all a bit too seriously?  i don't think so.  i've been "not so nice" myself on social formats and lost relationships because of it, i am at least open and honest to say it, and will not remain in denial. i have vented and really blasted people.... "you sam, no way" tongue in cheek you might add. oh yea, baby, believe it, the smarmy one himself is quite capable of lashing out and like anyone, i might be tempted to do it on those closest to me

one morning, i said, and God is my witness here: "you are up early.."  four simple words, a statement of fact, salutation, and greeting combined in a few short words, right? well oh boy,  i was on the receiving end, this gal said.."look, you aren't a single mom, what do you know about work, and raising kids and rising early having to do my social media in the dark, and juggle my life, you don't know me, you don't know what i go through, who do you think you are..." 

yea, when they say the line, "you don't know me..." i find defense mechanism written all over that, and generally is a prelude to their own odd lashing out behavior, which indeed, in this case it was, she later apologized, nobody ever wants to piss off the ferret, he's just too verbose and sensitive, and open, and he's a big mouth, so that doesn't ever end well, and he will get frequent apologies

my point this morning is that we cannot underestimate social media..its real, and it's here to stay, and it's not imaginary, it's not the "other half" of our real lives, it's not a cyber reality, vs our "real" reality, it is reality.  to some people it is their job, their income, their lives, they make their living in this cyber world, to others, it is their substitution for a life they wish they had.  avitars for many people are what they wish they looked like, a fantasy where they have shed a few pounds or years, or added a touch of highlights to their hair, or even added hair.

when facebook crossed the 400 million and then 500 million person mark, it became necessary, shall we say essential for all of us to maintain an online image. someone somewhere is collecting data on us, and we are what our online profile says we are, and if we want to curse, act like idiots, fight and use fake names, so be it...  i know people who are complete whores on facebook in one profile, and they maintain, another decent, church and granny proof existence on their sane profile.

God forbid their employer ever find out, or they apply for a gov't job.  leads me to my last point, as i have to go annoy people on twitter and plot with other ferrets to take over the world.  those people who vent on social media do pay the price emotionally, and spiritually, they live with the consequences of their actions. but there is a bigger truth here:  people who spew hate at you have something wrong with them, not you.  its hard to remember this in the heat of the moment when someone is venting, but THEY ARE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.  forgive them, let it go, move on.  more than likely they are upset at something else, not even related to what you said, they are just mad at the world, or they are insecure, and difficult anyway, so let it go.  if the bad behavior persists, then start to consider spending less time with them.

so next time someone wants to bring you down, remember, do like the ferret does, laugh, dance and sing, and snuggle a bit, and pray for them, they need it, they are having a bad day, and you are only gonna make their day worse by feeding into their crap...  dance and sing your way to a better moment.

have a ferret nice day

Here's a book on Social Media Marketing All-in-One For Dummies
its an all inclusive desk ref from September 2010

Best Seller: The Gift  Susan Boyle Nov. 9th, 2010 

return to top of blog to see all posts http://samuelclemons.blogspot.com

return to Twitter  http://twitter.com/samuel_clemons

waking early no norman mailer

look if a ferret can get up before daylight appears and post a little something to his blog, so can you..  it's called a schedule, or maybe it's discipline, or maybe it is just doing what we are supposed to do

i am not perfect at it, that is the enigmatic conundrum is it not?  we as writers never think our writing is perfect, yet we strive for perfection, so we must accept the fact that is part of our make up, we are this way, period

then just keep doing it... now we will miss a day but should we miss two?  i pictured yesterday Norman Mailer out on Cape Cod, his mistress/wife/maid taking care of him, old beyond old, his last days spent finishing the last work, putting it together, not to leave her a few million more in her bank account, not so that he'd hear the praise and the accolades of critics and press, but because that is what writers do, they write

i can't remember who said it:  "Writers Write" but progress is the name of the game, not perfection.  we must make the progress each day, and put something down, and i admit, i am the worst at it..

so help me here:  i tweet at @samuel_clemons and ask me:  sam did you write today?  keep me going, remind a busy ferret that his morning should be researching, reading, living, and throwing some lines down... entertaining is not easy, so it's really hard sometimes for me, i get all creaky boned, i get to eating my poptarts, then fall asleep, and want to take a nap, get excited, and dance around the room like an idiot, then pass out on the nearest human's lap... life is tough as a humorist, because sometimes a ferret just don't like bein' funny!

but life is progress, not perfection, and writers write, so i have to do a better job in 2011 than i did in 2010

keep me on track, and tweet me in January, and get me to put words down, thanks

Tweet



Your Own eBook Software Only $9.97 Click Here!

Bestseller:   The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

If you need a wonderful place to sell your eBook, or don't know where to start let me help you at http://sarcasticsam.com 

windows traveling in europe

i just really liked the architecture and well, i liked the window on the left, i wonder who picked it? ha!

from "traveling through windows"  article at lonely planet be sure to use the back button to get back here and the twitter feed on my blog if you like the article

to return to the top of sam's blog to see all his posts, http:samuelclemons.blogspot.com 

to return to twitter

The Rough Guide to Europe on a Budget (Rough Guide Travel Guides) (Rough Guide Travel Guides)

the ferret chronicles

To Live In Insolence 
Chapter One
The Ferret Chronicles

by Terence Beck   DIRTY GARNET





I'm not usually one for the well-ridden classics of the nightlife scene. They say to me when I go to bars where the older ones hang: "Terry, why don't you go for the maturer members of the crowd? You're a quality lover, and you've started working out again."

Sighing modestly I'd rebuke them by saying I'd still years left of targeting college students. I said to Brian once: "Brian, are you bilingual?"

"Dude I try anything once." - This sort of brilliant attitude is one I want to preserve. That's why when I headed to California I stopped off in Louisiana. The whole Assange thing hadn't kicked off to a bad extent - and besides a day in the Deep South is great for eating out in great hospitality, groans in the steamy air as you nosh on some moist, Southern meaty folds.

Touching down in New Orleans proved uneventful. Exiting the airport equally so. Yet it was as I boarded a cab that a huge bombshell hit me: an old, zany coot had thrown a defused grenade at my head whilst crying "Boooom! Happy holidays you swishy haired varmint!"

Yet as I shifted myself into the cab I noticed two small animals, bickering madly. Thinking I'd just entered some sort of George Michael bedroom scenario I leant forward and politely informed the cabbie of the odd, rodentish situation.

"Oh you on for the ride now boy...you on for it the whoooole way." A cracked, horrendous cackle emerged from the cabbie's gullet as he turned on the central locking and remotely activated a grate. I was confined to this odd scenario, which grew vastly more pleasant when I realized the creatures were babbling on in English.

"If you were a fisherman, I'd be the ones catching the big fish and you'd be the...er...the one catching the little uns'!" The smaller, younger looking rodent squeaked with glee, delighted at his own wit and guile.

"Your conceit is equaled only by your troglodyte verbal skills. I am appalled, shocked, and worse of all hindered by your presence. That you claim to be an illegitimate child is but evidence of your willful upstart nature - this is, I must wholeheartedly say, your redeeming feature."

"Darn it Dad, we don't have to end this like you're the oil baron from that awful epic There Will Be Blood! I need you to teach me everything you know, so I can become as great as you and carry on your legend. It's not selfish...it's just pure altruism for the human who beholds your...I mean our, work." The tone of the creature, as squeak and snuffle ridden as it was became that of a groveling plea.

"Let it be known that your head could not absorb but a fraction of the knowledge gained. You must go out into the world; see wonderful sights, make love to wonderful women, randomly boil nettles in the wilds because you want to see what they taste like...but above all, leave me be. Or we'll see about that movie tribute!"
By now I'd decided to offer my services. Plucking the younger critter up by his nameless collar I tapped on the cabbie's rear panel: "Gots to drop off a passenger here man."

The little bastard squirmed and tried to bite. However my Aunt Beryl had taught me superbly how to handle all manner of rodenty creatures. The cab ground to a stop, the tinted winters opening to a blast of fresh, sarcasm cleaning air. Out went the talking critter, landing softly on an adjacent pile of shrubs.

Meanwhile the older, slightly grizzled rodent had curled up on the seat, saying: "Ah...just like an abbreviated version of that movie Mouse Trap. Yet...less crappy."

The night out on the town that followed proved legendary. Therein Samuel, as he was called, resided atop my shoulder, tickling my cheek with his handy old school tips. I fed him shots of Tennessee bourbon. Due to creeping out so many supple nubile gals I had to settle with the maturer crowd, but you know what?

It was exquisitely better.


Who Tweets as Dirty Garnet



Be Sure to Follow More of Dirty Garnet's Hilarity and Vitally Meaningless Drivel at:   http://www.dirtygarnet.com/

Background

"Now Sammy, you have to be brave, you are going to go on a journey....by yourself, and you have to be brave" mum said to me.

I had never been very far from the burrow, just a few visits to my Uncle Freddies, church, the usual.  An exciting world awaited me, a real adventure!

"Now you remember, to use your manners, and when you meet him, you be a good little ferret, your dad is a busy one, oh goodness, do I know that" she said.

"Yes, mum, I remember.  And not repeat what you've told me, that he is a cad, and playboy, and a carouser, and all he thinks about is the ladies; I remember."

"I want you to keep your nose pointed in the right direction, Sammy, don't get sidetracked snifffing out every little thing that pops into your head, stay on the track, and get to your father's burrow before Christmas"

And a fear came over me, as I looked out the door, meeting the Old Ferret, the legendary, Conceited One himself, calls himself: "The Sexiest Ferret Alive"...

The world beckoned, the far off distances of the great big horizon, and I started to choke back the tears, the fears, the gut feeling that I didn't want to leave home mingled with the adventuresome nature within us all.

"Now Sammy, don't you cry, big ferrets don't cry, my young one"  mum said to me, as she herself shed her own tear and patted me on my bum out the door.


As told in the Ferret Chronicles by @SamDaFerret 

( no ferret was actually tossed out the window in the making of this epic, in fact, little Sammy sits idly by my pool, smoking my cigars, hitting on my french maid, and driving my Barbie Corvette about the house, till the batteries run dead.  i refuse to give the little bastard my GI Joe Hummer, except on weekends.  my plan calls for getting my uncle freddies to produce the critter's birth certificate, and let me tell you that edition of the Ferret Chronicles will be just as boring and pointless.....  Return to Twitter   Return to top of Blog to See all of Sam's Stuff )

Kindle Wireless Reading Device, Wi-Fi, Graphite, 6" Display with New E Ink Pearl Technology

where have all the sexy cops gone?

it seems the Czech police are utilising an ingenious way to slow traffic:  they are posting cardboard cut outs of sexy female police officers on the side of the road clad in miniskirts!  so successful are these scantily clad cops that drivers are running off the side of the road, and the cardboard vixens are causing accidents.

in an effort to cut down on the accidents caused by these roadside hazards, my uncle freddie has been stealing all the cut outs, so that people don't get into fender benders.

when i happened upon his ferret burrow full of mini skirt clad female cops and asked what the heck was going on, my uncle freddie didn't mention the accidents right away, or the fact that he was actually trying to do a public good,  his comment was:  "they looked cold standing out there in the snow, i just want to help them get warmed up..."

i think my uncle freddie is about as eccentric as they come

Santa's Sleigh Classified Information

Classified Information Regarding Santa's Sleigh 

Designer & Builder: K. Kringle & Elves, Inc.

Color: Red Base with Green Garland, and Silver Snowflakes

Probable First Flight: Dec. 24, 343 A.D. 

Home Base: North Pole 

Length: 75 cc (candy canes)/150 lp (lollipops) 

Width: 40 cc/80 lp Height: 55 cc/110 lp 

Weight at takeoff: 75,000 gd (gumdrops)

Passenger weight at takeoff: Santa Claus 260 pounds

Weight of gifts at takeoff: 60,000 tons

Weight at landing: 80,000 gd (ice & snow accumulation) 

Passenger weight at landing: 1,260 pounds 

Propulsion: Nine (9) rp (reindeer power) 

Armament: Antlers (purely defensive) Fuel: Hay, oats and carrots (for reindeer) Emissions: Classified 

Climbing speed: One "T" (Twinkle of an eye)

Max speed: Faster than starlight

Source:  Secret Ferret Manuel for Everything 

Editor Uncle Freddie

return to top of blog see all sam's posts 

broccoli boy is freed

it seems that i have been accused of taking the stash of broccoli and smoking it all by two famous stars... luke romyn has lost his hair, and the mysterious foxy lady, will not reveal her identity anytime soon.... meanwhile dianne little is in the plot to rule the world by cornering the market on broccoli .... stay tuned to the next episode of Broccoli Boy by @ceebee308  watch here http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/8119873/

don't worry, folks i am sure to be cleared of this dastardly accusation, well maybe not

why not follow back?

when you stop to think about it, as i unfollow unproductive tweeps this morning, why not follow back?

some ferret has taken the time to follow you, isn't that flattering?  isn't that the premise and purpose of twitter?  if you look up any "how to" guide or article on twitter they all say  to "follow" people of like interests and like profiles to find commonality amongst strangers and to build a rapport with them, and this is constantly the recurring theme

now someone takes the time to follow us, and we then turn our noses up at that, and say, "i'm not going to follow back?"  which i find simply undemocratic, judgmental, and weird... now there are pervs out there whackos and bi polar idiots, and you know who you are, you can live in denial, but that is another issue.. ha! i had to get that dig in... 

the weirdos? yea, unfollow them, i get that part, but are we using superficiality and our common sense in a balanced approach?  are we racially profiling? specie profiling?  am i not following a cat, simply b/c she is a cat?  am i completely ignoring all the ducks?  this is not what God intended for the animals in the barnyard to do... if the duck quacks good morning, am i to ignore him and stick with my stupid group of ferrets most of whom have become a bit odd in their idiosyncratic habits anyway?

i think the purpose of twitter is to expand our horizons to think of new ways of crossing over out of our comfort zone into new areas of commonality and it does a fairly good job of that efficiently and intelligently.  i use it to do this very thing, i don't want just writers on my timeline.... half the battle of writing is living anyway, i have to live an experience, i can't be tethered to my desk, i have to go out and meet ducks, geese, horses, travel to distant burrows, find out what the world offers in order to write about it  so why would i want a timeline with nothing but deskbound writers?  i have to cross into new areas of commonality and broaden my market shall we say, and bring laughter and ferret cool to new people who have not yet enjoyed my unique charms

it is up to each ferret to find her/his duck ... next time someone that you do not think is your "type" and you  DO NOT WANT TO FOLLOW BACK   follow them anyway...  give it a shot

here's an article below on Unfollowing Unproductive Tweeps 

go to the top of the blog to see all of sams post in chronological order 

return to twitter

In Alabama Brad Pitt’s Armpits Are Terrorism

Funny Post by Dirty Garnet a Brit, which I entirely hold against him: 

In Alabama Brad Pitt’s Armpits Are Terrorism

cover to cover

just an expression, right?  i read that book "cover to cover"

there is another expression: "don't judge a book by it's cover"

let me tell you, nothing could be further from the truth!!


just like we are judged on our appearance, just like the "clothes make the man" well  books are sold based upon their covers!  why do you humans think the saying even exists! funny, you humans are - how many times have you purchased a novel or paperback b/c the publisher had the good sense to spend some extra bucks on a nice looking cover?

if you are a published author, or just beginning, than take the time to learn that the cover is going to sell your books

ferrets already know this:  humans are shallow incredibly easily influenced creatures, and we just dance and wiggle our way into their hearts, so take a lesson from a ferret, take the time to think about your book cover...

oh! this just in!  Mary from Anchorage:  "Sam, but I want to sell an eBook, covers don't matter do they"    Me:  Mary, how cold is it up there anyway?

twitter research has shown that people choose to follow based upon what? you guessed it,  photo first, profile second, content third, everyday, millions are followed because they have a cool pic!  how shallow and superficial is that...

learn to utilize the superficiality of humans by creating a great cover

just one of many cover packages, there are many more.... 

Create Stunning eBook Covers CoverFactory is easy-to-use Windows software that allows even the artistically-challenged to create amazing 3D-style eBook cover art in minutes. Incredibly easy to use Fantastic graphics in minutes Awesome range of features Full instructions included FREE evaluation version Download and try it out for FREE

___________________

return to top of blog and see all of sam's posts 

two dogs

i don't drive often, it involves hanging onto the steering wheel for dear life, and i look rather cartoonish, swaying my rear paws around; could not bare the thought that i might be seen in so precarious a light; yet this manic travel method does not stop me from taking in the scenery, human or otherwise - today, i saw two dogs, both of whom saw me first and engaged me in such a way that i have not shaken them from my mind, they are imprinted there for this moment, and now herein; the first a cute little barker, just walking down the street, but he started at seeing me, his movement catching my eye, earnest in his appeal that i notice him, all white and fluffy and such a darling critter, calling out to me, "see me, i am here, why do you get to drive a car, and i have to take my human for a walk" so that i slowed and smiled out the window at the sight, and his human noticed me then, and realized he had been barking at me, saying hello, and was pulling her toward me, and willing to help me drive, at least he was willing to give it the good ol' college try, he wanted to help, i had to keep on with my journey, and the shared experience was special for the three of us, his owner smiled back, and he turned around and followed me with his head and shoulders longingly, lovingly, a fellow critter on this earth out for his morning walk, so happy to know each other, if only in that instance;  i thought about him, as i drove, thought what a special thing to do, until i got onto the highway, and my passion for driving was tempered somewhat by the flow of speeding cars, and having to pay attention ahead, not allowing myself the thought that i can't even reach the pedals, on cruise control, focused, and then it happened again;

the second dog was staring at me

not at the road, or his human, but at me, out of the corner of my left eye, a tall, shaggy breed, centered upon me, clearly staring, clearly entertained that i could drive a car, and he too, barked in salutation, but this time i could not hear the bark, only see the movement of his jaw, and thought it very strange that two dogs only minutes apart could call out to me, and communicate so well with me across the road each time, through a closed window, as i drove, and how unique a world we live in, where all the busy details melt away, and we are left with special instances which uplift us, and at other times we might take for granted; yes, indeed, the world for me today, has been a special one, shared with two dogs.

Dogs Playing Poker Poster Print, 36x24 Famous Poster: $2.14

Best Seller:  The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

pelf hardly used anymore

For him no Minstrel raptures swell;
High though his titles, proud his name,
Boundless his wealth as wish can claim;
Despite those titles, power, and pelf,
The wretch, concentred all in self,
Living, shall forfeit fair renown,
And, doubly dying, shall go down
To the vile dust, from whence he sprung,
Unwept, unhonour'd, and unsung.

Sir Walter Scott (1771–1832), Scottish novelist, poet. The Lay of the Last Minstrel. . .

New Oxford Book of English Verse, The, 1250–1950. Helen Gardner, ed. (1972) Oxford University Press

Return to Twitter

     ~ or ~

Go to the Top and Read all of Sam's Posts