Tuesday, December 28, 2010

social media can be a rough place

yesterday i went to a site and posted a comment only to have about 8 to ten members gang up on me, and name call..  which i find just a bit too cute by half.. of course they tout themselves as open minded, of course they have an "open forum" for discussion, and of course they are right....

this morning, before coming over here to my barnyard, i noted that i saw a twerson who was to use her phrase "attacked" on facebook, and another who mentioned ppl talking "behind" her back...  some of this may just be the day of the week, as research has indicated that Tuesday thru Thursday are "mean tweet" days, Thursday being the peek... with the weekends being "happy tweet" days, peeking happily on Sunday...

now, using that logic, and the Nor'eastern that blew through this weekend, maybe people are getting cabin fever, maybe they are isolating, maybe they are feeling depressed, and expressing it in their social media posts, and i can accept that especially since it's my own rationalization

but are we taking it all a bit too seriously?  i don't think so.  i've been "not so nice" myself on social formats and lost relationships because of it, i am at least open and honest to say it, and will not remain in denial. i have vented and really blasted people.... "you sam, no way" tongue in cheek you might add. oh yea, baby, believe it, the smarmy one himself is quite capable of lashing out and like anyone, i might be tempted to do it on those closest to me

one morning, i said, and God is my witness here: "you are up early.."  four simple words, a statement of fact, salutation, and greeting combined in a few short words, right? well oh boy,  i was on the receiving end, this gal said.."look, you aren't a single mom, what do you know about work, and raising kids and rising early having to do my social media in the dark, and juggle my life, you don't know me, you don't know what i go through, who do you think you are..." 

yea, when they say the line, "you don't know me..." i find defense mechanism written all over that, and generally is a prelude to their own odd lashing out behavior, which indeed, in this case it was, she later apologized, nobody ever wants to piss off the ferret, he's just too verbose and sensitive, and open, and he's a big mouth, so that doesn't ever end well, and he will get frequent apologies

my point this morning is that we cannot underestimate social media..its real, and it's here to stay, and it's not imaginary, it's not the "other half" of our real lives, it's not a cyber reality, vs our "real" reality, it is reality.  to some people it is their job, their income, their lives, they make their living in this cyber world, to others, it is their substitution for a life they wish they had.  avitars for many people are what they wish they looked like, a fantasy where they have shed a few pounds or years, or added a touch of highlights to their hair, or even added hair.

when facebook crossed the 400 million and then 500 million person mark, it became necessary, shall we say essential for all of us to maintain an online image. someone somewhere is collecting data on us, and we are what our online profile says we are, and if we want to curse, act like idiots, fight and use fake names, so be it...  i know people who are complete whores on facebook in one profile, and they maintain, another decent, church and granny proof existence on their sane profile.

God forbid their employer ever find out, or they apply for a gov't job.  leads me to my last point, as i have to go annoy people on twitter and plot with other ferrets to take over the world.  those people who vent on social media do pay the price emotionally, and spiritually, they live with the consequences of their actions. but there is a bigger truth here:  people who spew hate at you have something wrong with them, not you.  its hard to remember this in the heat of the moment when someone is venting, but THEY ARE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.  forgive them, let it go, move on.  more than likely they are upset at something else, not even related to what you said, they are just mad at the world, or they are insecure, and difficult anyway, so let it go.  if the bad behavior persists, then start to consider spending less time with them.

so next time someone wants to bring you down, remember, do like the ferret does, laugh, dance and sing, and snuggle a bit, and pray for them, they need it, they are having a bad day, and you are only gonna make their day worse by feeding into their crap...  dance and sing your way to a better moment.

have a ferret nice day

Here's a book on Social Media Marketing All-in-One For Dummies
its an all inclusive desk ref from September 2010

Best Seller: The Gift  Susan Boyle Nov. 9th, 2010 

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  1. Monday, March 13th ~ today for one of my twitter friends I noticed 'taggers' have appeared & may start some 'insurgency' (mmm spelling challenged there). In Wisconsin USA we are having some political upheaval of our own, a friend went to a protest rally this weekend, tweeted about it with a hash tag and then members of political parties pro to the cause showed up with certain negative tweets. Hoping this is an 'anamoly' (sp again?) vs. an 'organized tagging effort'. I firmly hold as humanity we may disagree with each other, but we can still maintain 'respect'. Hoping twitter doesn't denigrate to active cyber witch hunting by groups.

  2. Social media affect us as much as we let them. I so agree that the people who seem to be making a career of slamming everyone they find have a problem - and it's not our job to sort that out for them. We can 'turn the other cheek' - these are words, not slings and arrows.

    Go drink coffee, eat chocolate, hug a real friend.

  3. This was an awesome post!! U pack a lot of wisdom in this. Have you studied phychotherapy or what? Thanks for taking the time to write.

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