http://www.SarcasticSam.com Twitter's Smarmy Wiseacre... Makes no apologies for anything, unless you're hot! and have poptarts... probably not even then
Friday, April 1, 2011
psssst
"SAAAAAMMMMMM!!! You have the look... I know that look... DO NOT DIG UP THE FLOWER POT!!"
i swear, i have to work on my cute.
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i was on my way to visit the snake. no telling where i'd find her, she could be wandering the streets, hiding in someone's basement. since she'd meandered off, there was no end to the commentary, late night jokes, and in some cases panic.
the bronx zoo cobra was only a baby, and i wanted to interview her for an upcoming blog post. she was like a slithering houdini... with skills like that, i had to get her on my team.
"sammy, is that you? this is your uncle freddie.."
"i know your voice, unc....."
"don't be a moron, sammy....no, i can't go to the Bronx, you'll have to go yourself. how's your mother?"
"she's just fine, I...."
"sammy, if you find the snake, tell her we're rootin' for her sammy, and if she needs anything, just call us"
with that, uncle freddie hung up.
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i departed the subway, the prison was not a great place to visit. anytime i go to any zoo anywhere, i get accused of starting riots, revolts and am given the evil eye by the keepers.
low profiling it, i made my way to the scene of the crime. the reptile house. i sniffed around, and was looking at her cage, welling up a bit that she was kept in a jail cell her short life.
"pssssst" she called out. and i turned, there she was!
"psssst... over here"
"i've come to help you go free, ma'am, let's go..." i said. "you haven't gotten very far have you?"
"i'm not going, sammy, i'm staying. i've been on strike...."
i replied, "that's a good line, i'll have to remember that one"
"i just wanted to make it clear to the keepers, sammy, who's boss. i think my message has been understood"
"well, ma'am, you could have seen the sites, run the streets a bit.."
she replied: "you kidding me, kid. i get my three mice and a bed of wood shavings...it aint heaven, but it's better than roaming the streets of the Bronx."
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three hots and a cot...what a tradeoff for missing all that ferret adventure...
ReplyDelete:D Happy April 1 Sammy