Tuesday, March 29, 2011

fake girlfriends

social media is revolutionising our lives alright.  it's even gotten so bad that you can go to a site and commit adultery.  now, just this morning, i found another one. to wit:
saw this tweet  by:  My_Face_Book
Fake girlfriends for lonely Facebook users http://nxy.in/bny1w [Terms]

   I refuse to miss out on this opportunity to expand my services on Twitter, so here's my new advertisement:

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ARE YOU LONELY? HAVE NO FRIENDS? FEELING LIKE A LOSER?  Well even if you are a loser, you don't have to suffer any longer.  You just need to project a confident image.


if you sign up,  i will poke you on facebook, post smarm on your Wall, and make all your friends jealous on Twitter.

this latest service will make everyone jealous of how popular you are on Twitter and Facebook. that girl that turned you down? threw her drink on you? ladies is there a man out there that snubbed you?

your  friends will be envious that you have such a dedicated host of critters following your every move; you'll be the talk of the town.  ladies? having trouble getting cyber sex from your old high school crush on Facebook?  well no more.  when he sees all the attention you are getting, he'll type something on your wall that will really change your life.

men no need for an expensive russian or columbian mail order bride!  once they get their papers, they turn into manic, bipolar bloodsuckers anyway...  how miserable is that.  i have the solution.

you'll be able to brag to all your friends that you have lots of ferret lovin!

now granted, some people may question your sanity at first, but after they see the power and audacity of cute, they'll be wantin' some a what you got!

                    

sign up now, and we'll even throw in a couple of soft porn postings, things like:

    "hey baby, wanna snuggle wit me..?"

    "can i touch your wiggle..?"

    "come on over to my burrow baby, and let's take a nap.."


AND THAT's NOT ALL!!

    if you are truly feeling adventurous, i'll add some heavy drama for no extra charge.  if you sign up now,  i'll even type something on the jealous party's wall, and create some real fireworks!

     "we snuggled all night, and it was the best; you don't know what you're missing..."

     or,  "i was dancing so hard last night, we had to take a nap.."

   DON'T WAIT!  Tired of not having any friends on Facebook or Twitter?   Sign up with confidence, nobody will ever think you are a loner again.  Act now, my widdle paws can only type so fast.  Space is Limited.

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follow sam on twitter at http://twitter.com/samuel_clemons

how i got text dumped by a faux girlfriend


fake girlfriend troubles

how shopping got me into family counseling



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13 comments:

  1. ROFLMAO!!! You are BRILLIANT!!! And if this takes off, I'd be interested in partnering up.

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  2. Thanks FallenAngel for getting me here to Sam's writing today on Twitter! Sam, it is a sure-fire winner, the entire Enterprise, a new star-ship adventure to evolve within cyberspace. And oh BTW I didn't just come by for the 'cleavage' shot but it is pretty darn cute! Yikes! (blushing)

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  3. Screw the drama! I just want all the wiggle I can get for my wampum!
    I'm snorking into my armpit so I don't disturb the peace here. Thanks for the biggest laugh of today for me!

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  4. Bahahaha! Genius, love this.

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  5. Ah, my Sammy!! Oh, how I needed that laugh. Wiggle, wiggle. Ps. Nice crawl space.

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  6. Very creative my friend. Wiggling from Southern Cali. xxoo

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  7. Excellent! I'm new here, and if this is a sample I will be a committed fan.

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  8. Why didn't I think of this sooner! It's the next big marketing giant! Keep up the good work :)

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  9. LOL, thank you for the laugh :)

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  10. A sure fired winner, Sam. SueTandT

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  11. Best use of FB & Twitter I've seen yet. Who could turn down a furry little wiggle??

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  12. I totally issed this post... must have been before my day... Man wiggle and giggle... laugh and choke on the boobs... Sammy your totally insane... so am i missing an m or a p... love to you my fine man...

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