they played me. it was all on my dime, the food, the drinks, the hospitality. my charm and generosity were, if i might say so, unlimited. i figured i'd treat them well, and the cease fire might lead somewhere.
so i have come to this blog post with a heavy heart. only by the hardest have i come to the conclusion that the squirrels are not interested in making peace. the leader, a quite large rotund porker even heckles me with his mouth full. he was in it for the nuts. i could have sworn i was making a deal with java the hut dressed as henry the viii. in place of a turkey leg, picture two paws each with a juicy freshly cracked walnut.
disgusting. fatso just wanted me to keep buying walnuts, bird seed, and planter's mix until his crew got fattened up. thus, i am sure he'll order another attack, and probably call in a coalition of woodpeckers and barking dogs.
you can't negotiate with a squirrel.
Some Companion pieces to this story you might also like:
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Those dastardly squirrels! And they made you miss your date with your hot masseuse, too. Talk about no good deed goes unpunished! Never trust a squirrely character, Sammy.
ReplyDelete*smart salute* Sir! They are second only to sloths in laziness! Sir! We will grind their nuts! Sir! *salutes again, winks*
ReplyDelete