Friday, February 4, 2011

i found bigfoot

"sam, do not. DO NOT. go searching for bigfoot again"  my human pleaded directly into my pink nose, as i was held by the nap of the neck, i had no choice but to put on my innocent look, and charmingly feign innocence.

since i was a small kit, i have wanted to find bigfoot.   i had to find him.  like marco polo traveling to the exotic orient, there was a hunger, a thirst, some kind of eternal yearning...

no sooner had the door shut behind my pet humans, i was off on a grand adventure, and right through the flower pot i went. 

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he was not as ferocious as he has been made out to be on the science channel.  after growling, and stomping, and much beating of chest, he simmered down. 

"so why do you keep scaring people, what's your problem, squatch?"  i asked.

"i go into the villages looking for preparation H" he replied.

"all this time you've been acting like this because of painful rectal itch, and because you're broke?"

his halitosis was not something i wish to describe here; i perched on his shoulder, prince of the rainforest, upon my royal throne.

bigfoot had no money, he couldn't afford a doctor, no way to solve the terrible ache he suffered from...

we watched the moon together, two poor creatures in awe of creation, quiet, contemplating the wonder of it all.  bigfoot, misunderstood, tired, an outcast, with his biggest admirer. 

he reached up and touched my nose, so gentle, so lightly, i could have sworn it was my imagination

"and yet" he said, "i am the richest of them all"


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follow sam on Twitter:  http://twitter.com/samuel_clemons

more posts involving big foot or thereabouts

No Cease Fire   http://samuelclemons.blogspot.com/2011/03/no-cease-fire.html

and Ferret's Bane:  http://samuelclemons.blogspot.com/2011/03/ferrets-bane.html

http://samuelclemons.blogspot.com/2011/03/post-apocalyptic.html

7 comments:

  1. Please tell Bigfoot my son has his shoes. Size 16. And please ask if I can meet him, too. I'll bring him medications and poptarts.

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  2. Bigfoot should move to Canada. I think their health care system covers rectal itch. If it doesn't, it should.

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  3. *PHEW* This story had me on the edge of my seat...my completely non-itchy seat...

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  4. WOW! To think all this time squatch just had butt pain. So did you loan him some money what? You left us in suspense!

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  5. My daughters, 7 and 9, LOVED the post! They say "Good Morning, wiggle, wiggle" to you!

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  6. Rich in the finest jewels of friendship no better feeling...
    Tends to make you forget the painful itchy end your sitting on...

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    1. https://twitter.com/chowpawpawJanuary 2, 2014 at 5:39 PM

      what a sweet friend you have discovered after all these years, I kinda know the feeling....

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