Wednesday, February 9, 2011

the lost tribe

like all ferrets since the dawn of time, fear is not in the vocabulary.  watch any ferret video on youtube, you get the idea.  large animals, birds of prey, snakes, they are all flabbergasted that we turn around, face them, and say "beat it buddy"

even the use of the word "flabbergasted".  now that must take some modicum of courage to pull off the use of that word

little wonder i found myself in the jungle searching for the Lost Tribe of the Delta.  a couple of alligators, mean looking snakes, and even a cannibal happened upon me, took one look, and decided they'd go scare something that
wanted to be scared.


i found the tribe sitting round the campfire.  why is it that no matter what time of day it is, these reclusive tribes have a fire going?  i'd like to say it was evening, but it was mid day, the sun was up, and they were kicking ashes.

some of them had been hunting, others climbing trees for low hanging fruit, still others working with the missionary.  if they were really lost they'd not have this missionary there harrying them to heaven  

"has anybody heard of android"  i asked?

were they in for a treat.  i gave them each a cell phone;  and we had a fun time  with the apps.  one local wanted me to show him how to text, another to game, before it was over, they were pretty well versed on this cell phone stuff.

their missionary approached and argued: "hey, you know, these people are gonna lose their culture, they are going to become like us, you can't just show up and give them all cell phones"  she said.

not afraid of a missionary any more than i am of snakes, i said, "but you can give them religion?"

no missionary has ever given a more indignant, shocked look.  "and another thing" i continued, "there's a new app where people can make confession using their smartPhone.  imagine that, confessional by phone."

i've never thought religion was absolutely necessary to be spiritual.  one can have a great deal of spirituality without a missionary, it's a matter of being willing to grow each day. 

this pure logic  caused the chief to escort the old battle axe to her canoe, apparently convinced the Lost Tribe of the Delta no longer needed the missionary to confess their sins of tree climbing or running around in the amazon delta.

very politely, gently he eased her into her vessel, pointed down river, and in his language, smiling brightly said, "never argue with a ferret, nobody has ever proven them wrong".

thus they'd gained a civilizing tool  in order to lose a missionary, an outcome i could not have dreamed

before leaving, i reminded them all to call their mothers and wish them a happy valentines day


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  1. AND with the GPS app, they'll have to change their name. You can't POSSIBLY be lost with GPS!

  2. Wow, such an inspiring story. I see now how I have wasted my smart phone. thank youSam for showing me the error in my ways. I will go immediately and find some poor neglected tribe and teach them the ways of angry birds

  3. Love this post and your blog! Thanks for tweeting this to me.


  4. well, i saw you struggling writing, and thought a little adventure through the flower pot was in order. if you look around, you might find how i discovered Bigfoot. he has issues

  5. I will definitely be looking around! *YOU ROCK*