Monday, January 3, 2011

blackbirds dying in the dead of night

'I've been to Iraq and back and not seen nothing like this,' resident of Ark. town says

.   This double negative by a man who's seen it all, but nothing like this.

    There are kids and pets and all manner of living creatures out there in the little town of Beebe, Arkansas, and I suspect none of them have never seen nothing quite like it.
    Speculation abounds as to why 2,000 redwinged blackbirds have fallen out of the sky.  One of the more interesting theories is that local kids were shooting off fireworks, and "scared the blackbirds" and apparently gave them all heart attacks.  

    Reminiscent of the Dustin Hoffman movie, "Outbreak" or creepy episodes of The Outer Limits, obviously, the government would rather put out the old "there is nothing to worry about" propaganda on this one.  Workers from the EPA were walking around Beebe in their white decontamination suits, yet the EPA has stated emphatically, the locals have nothing to fear. 

    My uncle freddie didn't need to snoop around, he quickly put two and two together to get 7, a prime number, and has it figured out.

    He sees it as apocolyptic warning sign of the end times.  He knew a couple of Mayans that have visited earth a few months back, just as an advance "exploratory" committee.  They arrived to check out the condition of earth, and inhabitants, and were not very impressed with earth's progress.  Since the Mayans are coming back in 2012,  and the end of the earth is scheduled for that year, they have to come and visit periodically.

    Now, elsewhere in this blog, we've mentioned the importance of the BFF button, and getting this universally accepted by mankind.  Shoot, when you get real friendly with someone online, you hit the ol "Best Friend Forever" button, and this will save mankind from destruction.  Ferrets have known this for some time, and we can save earth from itself.

    Now, we find there are folks running around with the wrong date!!  Seems a few Christians have the date pegged as May 21, 2011 for Christ's return.  We respect Christianity, don't get us ferrets wrong here!  It's just they've got the date a bit messed up.  

     "Sam get on with the story.."  that from Ronny in Annadale.  Thanks Ronny, you impatient troublemaker.

      So my uncle freddie said the redwinged blackbirds fell out of the sky because they were lovesick.   Yep.   Seems Beebe, Ark is like the Match.Com of the blackbird world.  Blackbirds from all over the world meet there to hook up.   This group that fell out dead were manic depressed, and a bit bipolar to begin with.

       Uncle Freddie said some hot lookin bird from NY City showed up and had the voice of an angel, or Mayan, and sang so lovely, all the chicks were lovesick for him.  Uncle Freddie, not used to such shenanigans witnessed it for himself.  Like women flocking to see Edward in Twilight, and secretly fantasizing about him, this Blackbird was good.

      So to the 2,000 bipolar, manic depressed blackbirds of Beebe, Arkansas who died over the holidays, we will remember you.  You have not died in vain.  At least the crooner from NYC has his pick of the chicks.

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