i've discussed before that if the world would but get a BFF button in circulation, and use it regularly, this will save the planet from itself
heady stuff. imagine, me carrying around the secret to saving the world in my head all this time, and what fool let me in on it?
well, now i have a confession, and this is totally serious - i am letting this one out late at night, on a sunday, so the mainstream press doesn't pick up on it...
ferrets are the mayans, and we've been watching the human race for 10,000 years, trying to see if you get it, which you don't, and so we've made a deal that if you get the BFF button, and use it, we won't send for reinforcements... that's it, that's the secret, the mayans are really ferrets, and we have tons of money to control the planet, and corner the market on poptarts.
please do not disclose these secrets to the press, as they may question me; and then all the ferrets will get snuggles and treated like royalty, and we are already rather spoiled rotten, unemployed as we are... i am not up for humans questioning me, besides
even if they don't question me; they'll certainly question your sanity