Saturday, January 29, 2011

turn blizzards into chalet brunch

when life hands you raw hamburger, call it pate'

well that's what milerd filmore said, or was that dr. spock? no it was grover from sesame street. well whoever said it never ate pate' ...highly overrated.

this just in:  ann from ann arbor: "sam, if this is one of those stories where you get off on tangents, then i'm gonna have to get a cup of coffee"  me:  ann, make mine sweet, unlike you.

well whoever said it, also said:

           "turn problems into profits"   and the equally famous saying,
           "when life hands you lemons, make Long Island Iced Teas"

obviously, Piper and Bella heard these axioms, because they set out to turn things around.  

a two day blizzard had cast a pale over my already dwindling supply of sunshine.  the power was out, fallen trees in roadways were causing complete and utter chaos, people were without power, and i was forced to sit down and write.  my somber mood could not have been more disinclined to put paper to pen.  i had heard of the passing of TracyLynnP  via twitter, and well with no laptop, i was forced to write long paw. 

who does mother nature think she is, anyway?  UKProgressive had written to me to cheer me up:  "ferrets are forever childlike" and i took those words to heart.

ann again:  "sam, i'm on my second cup, get on with the story"

ann, when i don't want to make changes in my life, do not wish to face the truth, i should do what other mature species do: unfollow and block you.

humans can get depressed, moody, cranky, bi polar, we ferrets rarely do.  well, i guess some ferrets can get bi polar, my uncle freddie drinks pretty steady - he tries to make sense out of life by delivering snuggles while simultaneously contemplating the odds that he can steal your socks. 

i received a text from my publicist, Bella.  "Sam, Piper and I are taking you skiing"

only half way through a manic frenzied outfit selection process did the thought dawn on me:  she hadn't asked me, she basically told me.  like i had no choice in this.

i went with the navy cashmere scarf which sets off my white fur nicely.  headset and goggles loosely hanging round my neck cast that  nonchalant "imma rugged yet casual mountaineering type ferret" look.

some things are certain: death, taxes, and i dress appropriately


  1. While I appreciate you acknowledging my status as a secret contact for the Mayans I'm a little afraid that the "secret" part of the contact list has been compromised by your post. Furthermore I can no longer call out "sick" from work when the first Mayan spaceship happens by, seeing as you also posted my departure plans. I know for a fact that I will be welcomed with open arms when the Mayans come, as my conscience is clean and I have ample supplies of both bosoms and brau. You however, my adorable friend, may need to consider a plan B in the event that your disclosure of the list is frowned upon. Good luck my friend, when the time comes I will put in a good word for you :)

  2. When you go to the council meeting on sleeping at work, make sure you mention my technique...although it takes incredible skill and forethought, when wakened, one has to remember to say, "Amen..." before giving the waker a look of complete innocence and questioning as if they truly have interrupted your personal prayer session. Of course, if you're a drooler, this approach hardly ever works more than once.

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